Show Your Scars

As far as I can remember I have always been an open book, living my life out loud. I have shared every aspect of my life with others and never thought twice about it. That was until I lost a few friends in my adult life. Friendship is supposed to be life journeys safe zone. A ‘no judgement zone’ that allows you to be vulnerable and not ashamed. When that truth became rifled, I became closed off. No longer wanting to share my experiences. That was until my broken heart started to heal. (Reference previous post, “The Other B Words“)

No matter the type of relationship and how it ends, there is a grieving process. Grief work is hard work. Grief happens seasonally. As seasons change and things transition in and out of our lives, we as human beings are stretched mentally, emotionally and physically. Trying to get over, past or around things that affect us in positive and negative ways.

The scars look different based on the wound it is from. I had to be reminded that God’s grace is sufficient as my wounds healed. Sisterhoods, brotherhoods, romantic and intimate relationships, parents passing, career changes, obstructions and developments – were all molded by God’s grace and covered with His mercy.

Last week I posted, “Don’t Fake The Funk” This week I’m reminded that it is OK to “Show Your Scars”. Consider this — my mommy had a cute little indentation on her forehead. When I asked her what had happened, she said that she was playing one day and fell and hit her head on a coffee table. It looked like it hurt bad and would always serve as a reminder when she looked in the mirror to be cautious of her actions and surroundings. To me the scar was beautiful, but by the story of pain she endured I knew I didn’t want one. I would walk up to my mom and wiggle my finger in the indentation and that physical touch always reminded me when I was younger, to be careful when playing in the house around the coffee table because I didn’t want to be hurt like my mommy.

My mommy’s flaws, scars, imperfections, triumphs – were all gracefully beautiful to me. The sharing of her scars and the wounds that caused them saved me world of hurt, heart ache and pain. Life is experienced in two ways, pain or lessons. I prefer lessons. I appreciate my mommy’s scars, they were Path Pavers (see previous post) that allowed me to become stronger and wiser.

I said all of that to say this,  “SHOW YOUR SCARS!” You never know how sharing the healing of that wound will bless someone. We spend so much time trying to cover our scars, not realizing that we can help someone along a similar path heal and possibly minimize their scars.

The Other “B” Words

The scenarios replay over and over. Did this really just happen? Did they really just do that?! My Sunshine, Marlon, always describes betrayal as “Forget your chick and the click you claim!” This is a PG excerpt from “Hit Em Up” by that great philosopher, Tupac Shakur.

Here’s my thing, people with huge hearts, that love unconditionally, that pour wisdom and invest themselves in the advancement of others really FEEL betrayal. I’m equating betrayal to fire that shot up in my bones while an elephant has one leg on my chest, and I can’t jump up and run. You are forced to sit in it, deal with it and process it before it walks away from you, leaving you puzzled about what to do next.

Here’s what I’ve found out about betrayal, it’s a blessing. Consider this… you have been praying and believing God for something in your life. That something could be tied to the betrayer. You prayed and cried asking the Lord to remove people, places and things that aren’t like Him so that you can receive His promises and BOOM 💥————- YOU HAVE BEEN BETRAYED!

Reflect on what you’ve been praying for. Time? Increase in finances or prosperity? Debt forgiveness? Better health? How to step into your passion or purpose? Increase in self esteem? A path to self care or self love? Supportive friendships? A healthy, equally yoked relationship?

Now, think of the betrayal. Is it directly tied to or did it make the space and opportunity for your blessing to move in? For you to start to move into that space that fulfills your dreams? The betrayals against me did. What held me back, frankly sometimes what holds me back is not recognizing this, trying to make sense of betrayal and not seeing the blessing!

I promise on everything that is within me, betrayal is a blessing. My close friends wonder why I don’t argue (speak up) when something happens . . . I learned to go straight to Jesus. Like, “Hey 👋🏾, it’s me Jesus. What IS HAPPENING!? What’s the rhyme or reason behind this mess, but more importantly, WHAT are you trying to teach me?! This ain’t cool. That was bogus, but I trust you Lord!”

I am a few days past the most recent incident and when I got to the end of this post, is when the Holy Spirit reminded me that I asked to clear debt and move into prosperity. I prayed that anything hindering me from making it to the next level and moving in God’s purpose in my life be released from me. I didn’t anticipate betrayal in this fashion. I blinked 7 times and saw the blessing!

Be encouraged. Before you boss up on the Betrayal, look for the Blessing!

Mind, Body, Spirit

Winter, Spring and Summer are struggling to transition and so am I. My mind, body and soul are also a tad challenged on the alignment rack. I am done with my personal winter (my spirit has crawled out of the cold), my language is already in my personal summer, but my body is still in spring. I find myself in front of my vision board many mornings reading my quotes and getting stuck on one that I carried over from 2017…

 

When I get overwhelmed emotionally or mentally, I steal some time alone and sit somewhere in total silence just after I find a trusted soul to hug me and put me back together. One of these days I’ll do as my daddy instructed and go back to yoga.

We have to remember to ground ourselves. We can’t always be on the go or continuously pour from our cups. Our bodies speak with fatigue, exhaustion, aches or pains. Our language slows, becomes anxious, mixes between written and verbal. When you sense these things realize that you are out of balance. Stop the movement and find the stillness…. after all the stillness provides guidance because it will reground you.

Don’t run yourself ragged. Allow your mind, body, and spirit all to come together.

… Back to stillness I go.

⚠️ Pay Attention ⚠️

Pay attention to the people that believe in YOU and encourage YOU. They add fertilizer to your future and purpose. I dare you to be optimistic. Consider that something in your life has attracted a person, people or thing to you with the the purpose of pulling your greatness to the surface.

Do you ever notice if you keep quiet long enough that a solution presents itself? That clarity comes in a pause? That there’s a place you go and sit and all will be right in the world? If you have never noticed these things, I urge you to slow down and pay more attention to yourself, your world and the things around you.

One of the most valuable lessons I am learning is that life isn’t rocket science, you just have to pay attention to your gut feelings, thoughts, and surroundings. Confirmation comes in so many different forms😉.

Just Pay Attention.