Baby Steps

I am fortunate enough to attend Central Missionary Baptist Church of Detroit, MI where, Robert E. Bolden, I, is Pastor. Currently our Midweek Oasis (Tuesday night Bible class) Series is on the topic of Healthy Habits. One of these nights, Pastor Bolden (or PB as we know him) told us that little changes add up to big changes and that’s how you conquer change and create new habits. Then we wrote down 3 things that we wanted to change on a card and turned them in before we left the service. Our homework was to go home and make a list of what little things we could do to help us achieve the three things that we placed on the card. I have no doubt that PB has been praying over our lists and this teaching has really stuck with me.

Here’s the profound example that PB shared. A plane was leaving Los Angeles, CA heading to New York, New York. If the pilot turned the nose 3 degrees south upon departure from LA, over time it would change the trajectory of the plane to land in Washington DC. Consider that something as small as 3 degrees could do that!

Now imagine, changing your lunch meal on Thursday one week. Then the next week changing lunch on Thursday and Friday. Or, going to the gym one day a week and walking for 10 minutes then increasing your increments each week or each time you walk. Over time you will have made small steps that add up to change over time.

I think we get side tracked like the memes below:

Baby steps are not mutually exclusive to changing your eating habits or working out. It could be about learning something new at work, a new language, a new hobby, arts and crafts, essentially anything! I was so moved by this teaching that I am taking baby steps in several areas of my life and I don’t feel overwhelmed. I feel successful. I feel like I can finally be successful moving forward because all of my baby steps will combine to make great progress!

I hope you count your baby steps as small victories and move forward!

#SDG

I Am Good Soil

For the first time in over 10 years, I am in love with myself and I am walking in my purpose. I’m out of a stretch of low self esteem and heartbreaks. I wanted to wallow in my misfortune, But God kept giving me more things and more people to nurture and love. I watched family, coworkers, friends and frequent acquaintances benefit from my light, love and laughter. I was fighting internal hidden battlefields of the heart and mind, they were leaving me refreshed, happy and encouraged.

See, sometimes, the devil fights us because we are good soil and he knows that anything God plants in us will bear good fruit. Understanding that the enemy attacks at our greatest strength made me realize that I AM GOOD SOIL!

I count it on joy when I’m able to help others see the light where they only saw night. It was this act that helped pull me out of my own darkness and sprout. I was buried for what felt like an eternity. Giving so much of myself to others that there was rarely anything to give to myself. I yearned for stars in the sky and I kept telling the Lord, “I’m a bird, you gotta let me fly!”

At my core, I knew I was so much more than my pain and circumstances. I knew that there was purpose planted inside of me and if I could just crack the seed break the soils surface, everything would be beautiful!

I stopped conforming to what the world wanted and began to live free, but in radical obedience. I knew I could breathe on things and make them great. My love can mend the broken hearted. I am strong enough to carry someone else’s pain while they get their sparkle back. I know just the right amount of reckless talk to fire you up or when to be the breeze that holds you up.

After all, my tsunami had come to an end. I prayed, cried, praised and worshipped my way through. I chased after God and wouldn’t let go until He blessed me. I knew that there were seeds planted inside of me just waiting to sprout and I had to move past the darkness in order to produce.

I. Am. Good. Soil.

This is my reminder that as I step into my 38th year on this earth on March, 14, 2019, that I am amazing and I can do ALL things through Christ who lives in me!

SDG❣️

Couch Beach

There is a stigma around counseling, psychologist and psychiatrists. People are ashamed to take care of their mental and behavorial health. I have heard people say that they don’t need anyone. My Truth understands that we were not created to do life alone.

Take a figurative journey with me as I interpret a suitable helper to be a person (friend, family member, coworker, acquaintance or professional).

Once a month, I visit Couch Beach! That is, I relax on a couch in my therapist, Jesse’s office and let all of my cares float through the air, releasing all stress and strain. I mean, on a beach, that’s what I’d do. I would venture into the water and then lay around to recharge, relax and get grounded. When I leave Jesse’s office, I feel like I have left the beach.

I have had a therapist since 2012. I think it’s important to vet your therapist, my first one was not a good match for me. Luckily for me, the second one was the charm. I often say to others, “Get you a Jesse!”

As a strong woman. As the go to person in my family. As the fixer and backbone in many situations, I needed to talk to someone that I could be 100% vulnerable with. I have the very best of friends, yet I was so ashamed to let them know that I did not have it all together.

When I decided that I no longer wanted to be married in 2012, I called and made a behavorial health appointment. Sitting in the waiting room, I was terrified and nervous. I thought people in the waiting room were judging me, thinking I had issues. Then I realized, we were all in the same waiting room!

Therapy took me through 1st divorce filing, extensive work traveling, mom passing, changing jobs, 2nd divorce filing and actual divorce, dad passing and now we are in survival of the fittest. Depending on where I am in life, I see Jesse once a week or once a month. I’ll never forget the time that I showed up a week early for an appointment, but as luck would have it, someone cancelled and he was free to see me. I’ve even called for emergency appointments and phone consultations. You see, when you get hit with social anxiety and abandonment issues, somebody has to remind you of the goodness that you are. I even go to my sessions for maintenance when I think nothing is wrong.

Don’t mistake any of this for me not having Jesus on the main line. I pray and cry. I praise and worship. I study and practice kingdom living. I have a friend that is a catholic priest. I have direct lines to evangelists and prohphets. I am in an Elizabeth and Mary friendship. Trust me on this, there is room in our lives for therapists. Human connection helps clear our minds, overcome depression, and strategize conflict resolution. Jesus knows about my therapist and my therapist knows about my God.

This amazing combination is the reason I am where I am today. I can tell when I am in my 4th week before therapy because things tend to get heavy. I walk in to the behavorial health clinic with the world on my shoulders and walk out of the office like a lioness that just walked out of the prayer closet. Let me reiterate, there are times that I go to therapy thinking nothing is wrong and that the visit is just a check in, but soon realize that I have been suppressing something and get delivered. If you are thinking you need a nonbiased person to talk to, just make the appointment.

What are your thoughts on recieving behavorial and mental health?

What would hinder you from seeking a psychologist/psychiatrists?

What benefits have you seen by engaging with a trained behavorial or mental health professional?

 I have joy, peace and happiness. In all instances I am my unfiltered, unaltered self. I am free to be me. It’s how I am free to write this blog that shares my experiences. Transparency is neccessary. I was given this mountain to show others that it can be moved. Why let life weigh you down when you can carve out some time and head to Couch Beach?!