Friends?

Friends, how many of us have them? Not everyone.

I am convinced that we aren’t meant to do life alone. We need wise counsel. Someone to call and bounce our ideas off of. Someone to talk us off the ledge. Someone to keep us from making a big mistake.

I recall people telling me that they don’t have any friends, and that hurt my heart. There are people that have been hurt, scorned or have a learned behavior based on solitude. I remember posting on Facebook, “We are meant to be in relationship with others!” and someone responded, “I don’t think you need people in your life. I don’t have any friends.”

You don’t think you need friends? This puzzled me because it’s not an experience of mine. My circle of friends has changed in size and stature, but my soul ties still remain. 

You do. You do need friends. I am not convinced that it is healthy do life alone. Friends provide accountability and support. They whisper your hearts song back to you when you have forgotten. 

You need friends to provide counsel and confidants.

If you are a person that has trouble meeting trustworthy people or sustaining meaningful relationships, may I suggest that you pray for the right people be sent into your life at the right time and that you recognize them when they come.

If you are a person that has people that don’t clap for you when you are winning or try and help you when life has brought you down to your knees,  you need to let them go! Get a new friend. A whole new friend!

When people outside of my circle see me, they see the polished version of me. They see my anointing. What they don’t see are the people holding me up and keeping me accountable for my growth, passion and purpose.

The public doesn’t see the text messages and phone calls that are made while I am battling the storms of life. Nor do you see my friends on social media talking about, “ugh, here she goes being all extra with her problems.” This is because I prayed for a circle of friends that don’t require cameras in the locker room until it’s time to celebrate our win!

The Lord grants the desires of our hearts. Just as he sends mentors, leaders, significant others, jobs, financial breakthroughs, He will also send friends. All you have to do is ask!!!

 

 #SDG

Be The Bigger Person

I never took into account the amount of effort that it takes to be the bigger person. You really have to step outside of yourself! These past few months, someone that didn’t exactly do right by me has leaned on me to help them process life’s events similar to ones I’m on the other side of.

While I am emotional, sensitive, empathetic and nurturing, I am human and hold pain, regret and grudges. The nurturer in me wants to do everything in my power to make things right and help, but I struggle at times and find myself judging those that wronged me, wanting them to feel pain or hurt. If the person ‘in need’ hasn’t always been truthful with me and has a tainted reputation, my first reaction is ‘screw them!’ I find myself reverting back to what I know about their past behavior and producing my past reactions which amount to “Ain’t NOBODY got time for this!”

Matter of fact, I have helped them before but I am now struggling with the reciprocity. Why is it that I’m always giving and they are just taking? As I am writing this, in the exact moment after that last sentence the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me, ” That when you do for others, don’t expect anything from them. Know that your blessings will come from me.” That’s HUGE and I am doing my best not to cry. While I know that my grief journey and transitioning to my new normal is to help others make it through, sometimes I want to be selfish. I want to protect my feelings and heart from being used or disappointed. However, I know that by sharing how I made it over, it symbolizes the hope that others will find to help with their navigation of this new process.

Be supportive to a person that places you on the shelf like a priceless novel and only takes you down when they need a word. Be selfless! Be great! Be a blessing! Be humble!

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:3-4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

What If I Mislabeled The Package!?

What if…

… my hearts desire, my soulmate, my purpose, was present in my life all this time but I mislabeled the package?

I know for a fact that I’ve mislabeled packages. I made men that were supposed to be acquaintances into boyfriends. I thought that seasonal friendships would last lifetimes. I thought jobs were careers. I thought houses were homes.

I thought… I thought… I thought…

Have you ever been in a store looking for a shirt in your size by sliding the hangers on the rack that have the size tags on them? Only to realize that you went through that rack and the Large shirt was on a Small hanger.

I hope you get the idea now.

Something in the past two weeks happened, “I heard the words with my ears, but I listened with my heart.” I was clear that I mislabeled a package. I started to beat myself up and wonder, “What if?”

Bottom Line is … packages get mislabeled. When you realize it, try to correct it.

Shoot Your Shot.

I am a firm believer in what’s meant for you will always find you… even if it sucker punches you.

I Took My Lemons To Grandma’s House!

 

I told y’all about ‘Surviving May’ and then just after I took this picture above, I posted ‘Let It Go!’ For all intents and purposes since 2013, the month of May is a bag of lemons, but my Guardian Angel Debbie squeezes those lemons and makes her babygirl some delicious lemonade. That lemonade is made at her mama, Grandma Earlene’s house.

May 23rd (the day I buried my mom in 2013) is always self care day and I decided that I’d get a haircut and then hop on over to get a mani-pedi. I’ve always wanted yellow polish but thought that was unprofessional. Not today, I’m going for it. After all, You Only Live Once and I vow to live with NO regrets. As I was wrapping up, I realized I hungry. I was talking myself into going home for the last of Sunday’s leftovers until I realized that the road I was driving on leads to Grandma’s house! That’s right y’all- I went to Grandma Earlene’s house! When life hands me lemons, I always end up at Grandma’s house!

I had such an amazing evening of watching TV with my Grandma and Uncle Jr, watching the neighbors, exchanging juicy gossip, laughing and letting my soul heal itself. Where there is love, light and laughter is where we should be in hard times.

All of our stories and struggles are different. All of our souls should have different ways to heal themselves. All of our lemons make different versions of lemonade. Mine happens to include family and friends. Yours may start with self discovery, coworkers, children, yoga, journaling, walking, reading, meditating, or praying.

Don’t stay a sour lemon, make the lemonade.