Friends?

Friends, how many of us have them? Not everyone.

I am convinced that we aren’t meant to do life alone. We need wise counsel. Someone to call and bounce our ideas off of. Someone to talk us off the ledge. Someone to keep us from making a big mistake.

I recall people telling me that they don’t have any friends, and that hurt my heart. There are people that have been hurt, scorned or have a learned behavior based on solitude. I remember posting on Facebook, “We are meant to be in relationship with others!” and someone responded, “I don’t think you need people in your life. I don’t have any friends.”

You don’t think you need friends? This puzzled me because it’s not an experience of mine. My circle of friends has changed in size and stature, but my soul ties still remain. 

You do. You do need friends. I am not convinced that it is healthy do life alone. Friends provide accountability and support. They whisper your hearts song back to you when you have forgotten. 

You need friends to provide counsel and confidants.

If you are a person that has trouble meeting trustworthy people or sustaining meaningful relationships, may I suggest that you pray for the right people be sent into your life at the right time and that you recognize them when they come.

If you are a person that has people that don’t clap for you when you are winning or try and help you when life has brought you down to your knees,  you need to let them go! Get a new friend. A whole new friend!

When people outside of my circle see me, they see the polished version of me. They see my anointing. What they don’t see are the people holding me up and keeping me accountable for my growth, passion and purpose.

The public doesn’t see the text messages and phone calls that are made while I am battling the storms of life. Nor do you see my friends on social media talking about, “ugh, here she goes being all extra with her problems.” This is because I prayed for a circle of friends that don’t require cameras in the locker room until it’s time to celebrate our win!

The Lord grants the desires of our hearts. Just as he sends mentors, leaders, significant others, jobs, financial breakthroughs, He will also send friends. All you have to do is ask!!!

 

 #SDG

Love Is

My childhood sister-friend, Kendra always says, “Love Is.” Every time I read or write it my mind wanders. Action, love IS action.

I choose love every-time. I love love. I love the feeling of love. I love its mystery. I love being able to watch others discover love. I love watching others feel love. I love pouring my love into others.

In my mind, when I see others hurt as a result love (or loving), I silently rejoice because I know that it’s just a test. A test of endurance and strength. I know there’s a lesson in it and better is on the other side.

Love changes lives. Love heals. Love hurts. Love teaches. Love punishes. Love grows. Love stunts. Love stuns. Love begs. Love Is. Love Is not.

You learn so much about yourself when love is involved. Your potential knows no bounds. Nothing can stop you. Dreams are born and become masterful. You learn who you are and who you are not.

Love isn’t just centered in romantic relationships. It’s culminated in friendships, sister and brotherhoods, family ties, volunteering, shopping, work… and the list goes on.

Love is when a coworker gives you their homemade chicken noodle soup because your aren’t feeling well, and they go and buy a lunch for themself. It’s when your best friend is more excited for your birthday than you are. Or when the person you are in relationship with creates an environment for you to rest and be catered to. It’s when someone sacrifices their comfort or convenience to accommodate your needs.

Love provides joy, peace, serenity, lessons, growth, uncomfortableness, teachable moments… but, Love NEVER Fails.

Be The Bigger Person

I never took into account the amount of effort that it takes to be the bigger person. You really have to step outside of yourself! These past few months, someone that didn’t exactly do right by me has leaned on me to help them process life’s events similar to ones I’m on the other side of.

While I am emotional, sensitive, empathetic and nurturing, I am human and hold pain, regret and grudges. The nurturer in me wants to do everything in my power to make things right and help, but I struggle at times and find myself judging those that wronged me, wanting them to feel pain or hurt. If the person ‘in need’ hasn’t always been truthful with me and has a tainted reputation, my first reaction is ‘screw them!’ I find myself reverting back to what I know about their past behavior and producing my past reactions which amount to “Ain’t NOBODY got time for this!”

Matter of fact, I have helped them before but I am now struggling with the reciprocity. Why is it that I’m always giving and they are just taking? As I am writing this, in the exact moment after that last sentence the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me, ” That when you do for others, don’t expect anything from them. Know that your blessings will come from me.” That’s HUGE and I am doing my best not to cry. While I know that my grief journey and transitioning to my new normal is to help others make it through, sometimes I want to be selfish. I want to protect my feelings and heart from being used or disappointed. However, I know that by sharing how I made it over, it symbolizes the hope that others will find to help with their navigation of this new process.

Be supportive to a person that places you on the shelf like a priceless novel and only takes you down when they need a word. Be selfless! Be great! Be a blessing! Be humble!

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:3-4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

What If I Mislabeled The Package!?

What if…

… my hearts desire, my soulmate, my purpose, was present in my life all this time but I mislabeled the package?

I know for a fact that I’ve mislabeled packages. I made men that were supposed to be acquaintances into boyfriends. I thought that seasonal friendships would last lifetimes. I thought jobs were careers. I thought houses were homes.

I thought… I thought… I thought…

Have you ever been in a store looking for a shirt in your size by sliding the hangers on the rack that have the size tags on them? Only to realize that you went through that rack and the Large shirt was on a Small hanger.

I hope you get the idea now.

Something in the past two weeks happened, “I heard the words with my ears, but I listened with my heart.” I was clear that I mislabeled a package. I started to beat myself up and wonder, “What if?”

Bottom Line is … packages get mislabeled. When you realize it, try to correct it.

Shoot Your Shot.

I am a firm believer in what’s meant for you will always find you… even if it sucker punches you.