This is actually post 3 of 3 in my “Not Yet” series. “Not Yet?” was the first post and “Not Yet, You Are Hidden‘” was the second.… Read more “Not Yet, Submit?!”
I never took into account the amount of effort that it takes to be the bigger person. You really have to step outside of yourself! These past few months, someone that didn’t exactly do right by me has leaned on me to help them process life’s events similar to ones I’m on the other side of.
While I am emotional, sensitive, empathetic and nurturing, I am human and hold pain, regret and grudges. The nurturer in me wants to do everything in my power to make things right and help, but I struggle at times and find myself judging those that wronged me, wanting them to feel pain or hurt. If the person ‘in need’ hasn’t always been truthful with me and has a tainted reputation, my first reaction is ‘screw them!’ I find myself reverting back to what I know about their past behavior and producing my past reactions which amount to “Ain’t NOBODY got time for this!”
Matter of fact, I have helped them before but I am now struggling with the reciprocity. Why is it that I’m always giving and they are just taking? As I am writing this, in the exact moment after that last sentence the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me, ” That when you do for others, don’t expect anything from them. Know that your blessings will come from me.” That’s HUGE and I am doing my best not to cry. While I know that my grief journey and transitioning to my new normal is to help others make it through, sometimes I want to be selfish. I want to protect my feelings and heart from being used or disappointed. However, I know that by sharing how I made it over, it symbolizes the hope that others will find to help with their navigation of this new process.
Be supportive to a person that places you on the shelf like a priceless novel and only takes you down when they need a word. Be selfless! Be great! Be a blessing! Be humble!
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4 NIV
My path has many pavers:
- How to build your faith
- How to start from the bottom
- How to handle heartbreak and broken trust
- How to grieve tough losses
- How to love like Jesus
- How to lead
- How to keep your smile and find joy
- How to be a humble servant
- How to know your role
- How to press into the presence of God
- How to listen
- How to be patient and wait
- There are more and they will manifest through this blog.
- People watch you on your path and when similar obstacles arise in their lives, they ask questions and for advice. Share you experiences and remind them that things do differ by individual. I’m focused on the ups and fighting through the downs. I know grief and loss. I can talk to you about embracing it and healing from it. I know joy and peace. I can talk to you about centering in it.
- Bottom line: your path is a testimony or example for others. Someone, somewhere is waiting on you to share your story so they can have a breakthrough or get confirmation that they path they are on is right. Use your pavers to teach someone else how to build a path!
As I sat talking to my therapist, J.L., he told me to give in to the emotions. To feel them, acknowledge them but don’t stay in that place. It took some time, but alone in my home… I got down on my knees and told the Lord that I’d had enough. That I was taking regret, grief, loss, betrayal, mischief and abandonment and giving it all to HIM. I turned on Tasha Cobbs Leonard, Gracefully Broken and Forever At Your Feet and . . . I let my heart break.
Each day thereafter brought new challenges, feelings, and emotions. I vowed to stand strong and fight for my healing. I didn’t put a piece back in place until It healed.
I had to do the work! I had to learn to say “No” to things that no longer served me and that “No” is a complete sentence. I had to pay attention to those around me that loved me and believed in me, God was using them to help mend me. Most importantly the Lord used our quiet time and my tears to water seeds of wholeness, strength, love and purpose that He needed to bring out of me.
Trust me. Trust yourself. Trust the Lord. Let Your Heart Break. I promise it’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I love who I’ve become.