Sunday, May 31, 2020. I was all over the place and couldn’t figure out why. I cried over the simplest of things. That’s what happens when my… Read more “Fighting to be Embraced”
Accountable. Responsible. Obedient. Believe. These words are all one in the same to me. You must take ownership of your situation in your life. If you are an entrepreneur, or in management at your company, you must take ownership of your situation there. As people, we own the work that we do and the path that we take. You must believe in yourself. If something in your area of responsibility is broken, no matter what it may be, you should quickly take steps to fix it.
We all have dreams. What we have to remember is that the dream is OURS. That we hold the responsibility for making those dreams come true. We can have a support system, but ultimately it is our responsibility to make the dream come true. A huge part of believing in the dream is believing in yourself. You can achieve it, if you believe it.
Often the best and most rewarding decision you can make is to stay the course even when it would be simpler to turn and walk away. You have to find a system that works for you. You also have to have accountability partners. In this 38th year of my life, I finally have that all worked out. My partners are the sweetest, kindest people I know and they softly speak to my soul with encouragement. Words of affirmation and kind acts are my love language, so this system works well for me.
Let’s be honest, it is also a great help to have someone that believes in you while you chase your dreams. Someone that will sing your hearts song back to you when the going gets tough. I have previously posted “Friends?” I am convinced that we are not meant to do life alone. It is not always our qualifications on paper that help us get to the things we want to do, there are people we network with that pull or push us along.
Believe in yourself enough for the impossible to occur. Be accountable to yourself, to your dreams. Don’t let YOU back off from doing the things you want to do, qualified or not. Period!
Friends, how many of us have them? Not everyone.
I am convinced that we aren’t meant to do life alone. We need wise counsel. Someone to call and bounce our ideas off of. Someone to talk us off the ledge. Someone to keep us from making a big mistake.
I recall people telling me that they don’t have any friends, and that hurt my heart. There are people that have been hurt, scorned or have a learned behavior based on solitude. I remember posting on Facebook, “We are meant to be in relationship with others!” and someone responded, “I don’t think you need people in your life. I don’t have any friends.”
You don’t think you need friends? This puzzled me because it’s not an experience of mine. My circle of friends has changed in size and stature, but my soul ties still remain.
You do. You do need friends. I am not convinced that it is healthy do life alone. Friends provide accountability and support. They whisper your hearts song back to you when you have forgotten.
You need friends to provide counsel and confidants.
If you are a person that has trouble meeting trustworthy people or sustaining meaningful relationships, may I suggest that you pray for the right people be sent into your life at the right time and that you recognize them when they come.
If you are a person that has people that don’t clap for you when you are winning or try and help you when life has brought you down to your knees, you need to let them go! Get a new friend. A whole new friend!
When people outside of my circle see me, they see the polished version of me. They see my anointing. What they don’t see are the people holding me up and keeping me accountable for my growth, passion and purpose.
The public doesn’t see the text messages and phone calls that are made while I am battling the storms of life. Nor do you see my friends on social media talking about, “ugh, here she goes being all extra with her problems.” This is because I prayed for a circle of friends that don’t require cameras in the locker room until it’s time to celebrate our win!
The Lord grants the desires of our hearts. Just as he sends mentors, leaders, significant others, jobs, financial breakthroughs, He will also send friends. All you have to do is ask!!!
In my 37th year of life I have learned that God is am amazing puppet master. As I sit here and start to write this post, I envision all areas of my life being held up by these thin translucent strings moving according to my obedience or lack thereof. I am imaginging that the elasticity of the strings depends on my willingness to move the way God has designed. Sometimes the masters handles tilt and my limbs movements are a result of my yielding, hesitation or me placing more weight on a particular area. Other times, the strings are weighed down so heavy by my bad decisions or indecision that they lose their elasticity or snap all together. In those cases, God, the ultimate puppet master has to come down and lovingly reattach me where I am broken.
“He is watching you from above, waiting for you to learn the lesson.”
Do you ever notice how situations in your life repeat themselves? Every time the lesson has to be repeated, it gets worse, more intense and hurts more. I have had that happen to me a few times in recent years and I swear that I know take lessons over pain. There is nothing worse to me than a bought lesson. I have made my life so much easier by learning the lesson on the first go round. When I look at the pretty fire in the house window, it’s a wrap. I am not going to touch any door knobs to see if they are hot.
“He’s preparing & strengthening you for what you have prayed for.”
Do you know how often we pray for things and then BOOM💥, at test/trial comes our way and we fold. We cry, ‘why me?’ Or think God is mad at us. When the truth is, we asked for more, increase, elevation. No matter how many times I’ve tried to fast track my dreams, I always get hit with the ‘hurry up and wait’! I have always desired a leadership role, but I shy away from conflict and conflict resolution. I am super sensitive and take all constructive criticism personally. That was until the Lord started giving me the desires of my heart, showing me the end game, but making me journey through the wilderness to get the prize. Guess what’s in my wilderness? A lot of conflict resolution. I can’t quit the blog, so when the feedback is less than positive or discouraging to me, I have to keep going. In my friendships I’ve been an understudy and when the wonderful humans in my life ‘read me’, I deal and make adjustments. In my fairytale relationship, I live real life where we talk though our differences instead of me trying to take flight.
“Learn the lesson, sit in silence, and give Him back His power.”
When you surrender and submit to God, He sets up a hedge of protection around you so that you succeed. I am currently in this stage of life! I am out here winning. I gave God my yes and He is opening doors and making ways. I learn to regroup and listen to the silence in which I find solace and direction. I repent and surrender daily. He has an amazing path laid out for me. There are people and things throughout this maze of life that push me back on the right track almost immediately, when I go astray.
Basically, I have learned that no matter how my limbs disobeyed or strayed away from those translucent strings that want to move me according to His will, once I surrendered, I always ended up exactly where He meant for me to be. Now, I let the fight to go against His will leave me, because I have no more time to waste!
Will you yield to God, the ultimate puppet master?
There is a stigma around counseling, psychologist and psychiatrists. People are ashamed to take care of their mental and behavorial health. I have heard people say that they don’t need anyone. My Truth understands that we were not created to do life alone.
Take a figurative journey with me as I interpret a suitable helper to be a person (friend, family member, coworker, acquaintance or professional).
Once a month, I visit Couch Beach! That is, I relax on a couch in my therapist, Jesse’s office and let all of my cares float through the air, releasing all stress and strain. I mean, on a beach, that’s what I’d do. I would venture into the water and then lay around to recharge, relax and get grounded. When I leave Jesse’s office, I feel like I have left the beach.
I have had a therapist since 2012. I think it’s important to vet your therapist, my first one was not a good match for me. Luckily for me, the second one was the charm. I often say to others, “Get you a Jesse!”
As a strong woman. As the go to person in my family. As the fixer and backbone in many situations, I needed to talk to someone that I could be 100% vulnerable with. I have the very best of friends, yet I was so ashamed to let them know that I did not have it all together.
When I decided that I no longer wanted to be married in 2012, I called and made a behavorial health appointment. Sitting in the waiting room, I was terrified and nervous. I thought people in the waiting room were judging me, thinking I had issues. Then I realized, we were all in the same waiting room!
Therapy took me through 1st divorce filing, extensive work traveling, mom passing, changing jobs, 2nd divorce filing and actual divorce, dad passing and now we are in survival of the fittest. Depending on where I am in life, I see Jesse once a week or once a month. I’ll never forget the time that I showed up a week early for an appointment, but as luck would have it, someone cancelled and he was free to see me. I’ve even called for emergency appointments and phone consultations. You see, when you get hit with social anxiety and abandonment issues, somebody has to remind you of the goodness that you are. I even go to my sessions for maintenance when I think nothing is wrong.
Don’t mistake any of this for me not having Jesus on the main line. I pray and cry. I praise and worship. I study and practice kingdom living. I have a friend that is a catholic priest. I have direct lines to evangelists and prohphets. I am in an Elizabeth and Mary friendship. Trust me on this, there is room in our lives for therapists. Human connection helps clear our minds, overcome depression, and strategize conflict resolution. Jesus knows about my therapist and my therapist knows about my God.
This amazing combination is the reason I am where I am today. I can tell when I am in my 4th week before therapy because things tend to get heavy. I walk in to the behavorial health clinic with the world on my shoulders and walk out of the office like a lioness that just walked out of the prayer closet. Let me reiterate, there are times that I go to therapy thinking nothing is wrong and that the visit is just a check in, but soon realize that I have been suppressing something and get delivered. If you are thinking you need a nonbiased person to talk to, just make the appointment.
What are your thoughts on recieving behavorial and mental health?
What would hinder you from seeking a psychologist/psychiatrists?
What benefits have you seen by engaging with a trained behavorial or mental health professional?
I have joy, peace and happiness. In all instances I am my unfiltered, unaltered self. I am free to be me. It’s how I am free to write this blog that shares my experiences. Transparency is neccessary. I was given this mountain to show others that it can be moved. Why let life weigh you down when you can carve out some time and head to Couch Beach?!
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